Did you know that I have 10 fingers? There's 10 of them. Watch I will count them. Don't be alarmed if i fa-ya-yall head over feet... can you really fall head over feet? Your head is always over your feet. Heehee, it's funny.
I'm not good at being random. So how about I just be spontaneous. Wait, isn't spontaneous another form of random? Kind of like how cheese is a form of milk! Milk is good, but sometimes it gets spoiled. I'm spoiled. But in a good way.
So I was talking on the phone today for a half hour when I realized something. I had forgotten to dial the numbers.
So then I dialed the number, but every time I dialed the number the TV channnel changed. That's when I realized that I was talking into the remote control and died from the magnetic waves that it sent into my supple skull.
I am a unicorn. Look at my gorgeous horn. You know what this means? I am a horny unicorn!
I couldn't help it. It's all your fault. It's your fault I was born head over feet. Maybe if you'd taken drugs when I was born, I wouldn't be so freakishly normal! I BLAME YOU MOTHER!
But you're not my mother. You're my ex-girlfriend's brother in law. So tie up a pig and call me Suzie.
I'm Suzie Q! They wrote a song about me! Then I did drugs and they renamed the song "Suzie In The Sky With Diamonds." I'm a slut.
A slut with benefits. Health benefits. Prostitutes can never be too healthy you know!
It's a cold day in July-y-y... but it's not July. It is a cold day in May. HAR May and Day rhyme. Maybe that's where they get MayDay! Oh my god I MUST go public with this breaking news!
Have you ever played Feed The Electric Outlet? It's where Mr. Outlet gives you a big open-mouthed stare unless you feed him. His favorite meal is silver necklace spaghetti. And when he's full he electrocutes you to let you know he's done! Whee!
Do you know what it takes to love me? Cause love can move mountains. I know, I know, what's love got to do with it? Well, love is a many splendored thing, for your information.
Unlike 56% of country. 56% of country is a many-hated thing. Which is just fine with me. I must go listen to Lila McCann now.
I will go take a nap now. Can you wake me up before you go-go to see the Go-Go's? They're having their reunion concert you know.
Bring me a present!
7:03 p.m. - 2004-05-23
Recent entries:
*drooping sound effect* - 2005-07-16
YOU HAVE RAISINETS?! - 2004-07-22
Summer fun! *Wells Fargo endorsement grin* - 2004-06-04
You make me feel like random, I wanna random the night away - 2004-05-23
Well there's five bucks I'm never gonna see again. - 2004-04-16
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